I Believe in Us
by holynachos
Summary: And all our tears are building up, building up, building up. And all our fears are killin' us, killin' us. We don't believe in love no more, no more, no more. We don't believe in love. But love believes in us.
1. Chapter 1

Jade was looking forward to her play. She's been looking forward to it for months, counting the fact no one accepted her to produce her play since it was "morbid" but that's nothing new for Jade. Even though we're not together anymore, I want to see her play succeed so I offered to help her. Jade on the other hand, still butt-hurt about everything, limited what I could help her with. She said she can do it all on her own. Ha, same old Jade. She put me on the props department.

Jade and I try keeping distance from each other, or at least she's been trying more than me. In public, she smiles that fake smile of hers and pretends to talk to me as if we were the best of friends. She doesn't want to seem "weak", not that after a break up being broken would make you weak. I know her too well though, she is broken, no matter how many excuses she makes up to avoid working on something with me or how many lies she tells to everyone saying she's "over it". I guess talking about this might make it seem like I'm caught up about it too. It's been a month and I still am. I miss her but not her...you know. I miss the way she was before but I can't say that since I'm basically the one that probably changed her. But when people ask me if I miss her, I still say the same thing; I don't miss Jade, I miss the old Jade.

It's almost 8 O'clock and Jade has me working late for her on the props with Cat and Sinjin. Sinjin has been playing with the lights and effects for probably half an hour now. At times I'd have to remind him to focus on what he's doing so we can leave earlier, but after 3 or 4 minutes he would go back to turning our theater into a strobe club. Cat came running downstairs and passed by me without saying anything.

"Cat!" I called and she turned sharply turned her velvet head to me.

"What?" Cat asked me. I scoffed at her.

"I asked you to get me more glue remember?" I had a feeling she'd pretend she didn't remember.

"Oh! Well we ran out." Cat said holding onto her blue dress and smiling.

"How could we run out? Jade bought a bunch like two days ago." I looked up at Sinjin.

"Sinjin, do you know where all the glue went?"

He stared at me and started hesitating and replied back saying

"What? You think I stole the glue? No! I haven't seen it!"

I could hear Cat's giggling behind me and I sighed.

"Why would you take all the glue? You know how mad Jade will be if she finds out?" I said and he gasped.

"Don't tell Jade! I'll buy glue and no one will have to know about this." Sinjin said nodding quickly.

"I willlll." Cat said raising her hand and I turned my head to her to see her slightly laughing. I gave her a dense look.

"But I won't."

"Thank you guys!" Sinjin said and I waved my hand in the air out of not concerning.

"Don't worry about it. I think we're done for tonight guys, I need to get home anyways." I walked over to the stage lights and turned them off. Sinjin unplugged the lighting and effects system and came down stairs to us and took all the stage equipment.

"Hey Sinjin?" Cat walked over to him and Sinjin had a big grin spread across his face.

"Yes cat?" He flipped his bush hair and Cat looked down at the equipment back to him.

"What are you going to do with all the glue?" She stared at him in suspicion and Sinjin's grin disappeared.

"Well...I-" and with those two unsteady words, Sinjin ran out the door. Cat stood there with her eyes blinking blankly. She turned back to me and walked over grabbing one of the bags in my hand.

"I'll help you with that." Cat grabbed the bag and wrapped her short arms around it, holding it against her stomach.

"No it's fine, I can carry it." I protested about to reach for it but she skipped back away from me smiling.

"It's fine beck! Besides, since you're driving me home I should at least help right?"

I looked up at her slowly, with eyebrows raised and chuckled. She on the other hand, was still smiling.

"I'm driving you home?"

Her smile slowly transformed into a grin.

"Yeah! I told Jade I couldn't come help tonight because I wouldn't have anyone to take me home but she told me you could take me home." Cat said jiggling the bag in her arms. Of course. I should of known she would volunteer me into something without asking first. I ran my hands down my face and groaned, and could see Cat frowning. I didn't want to make it seem like I wasn't going to take her home nor that I wasn't the one who said I would take her home. I walked over to her and motioned her to the doors and walked behind her all the way out to the parking lot without saying a word.

As I started the car, I could feel her looking at me and as I turned my head to her, she looked straight ahead. I turned away and could hear her lightly humming and from the corner of my eye, I saw her bobbing her head. I let out a deep sigh.

"You know you can talk if you want." I said turned the steering wheel as I drove out the parking lot.

"I don't want to make you any more mad than you are." She replied timidly. I looked back at her.

"Why would I be mad at you?" I asked and I knew she knew I was looking at her but she just starting playing with the tips of her hair and stared out the window.

"I don't know." She said and continued her humming from where she left off. I stared at her for a few more second and turned back.

"But I can tell you didn't want to drive me home." She said turning her head to me slowly and I turned to her, finally catching her downhearted face. I let out a laugh and smirked at her.

"I'm not mad at you and I don't mind driving you home. It's just Jade told you I would drive you home but didn't tell me." I said to her and she pressed her lips together.

"Well...at least now you have company! It's better to drive with a friend than alone right?" Cat said cheerfully, once again smiling. I grinned at her and turned the steering wheel.

"Yeah you're right. You're great company." I said and I heard her snicker and laughed.

"Did you know my brother got a bus license?" Cat said.

"Really? I thought after getting hit by a bus, you wouldn't want to drive one either." I replied.

"Yeah me too. But he doesn't have it anymore." Cat said in a low tone.

"Why not?"

"He hit himself with a bus."

I turned my head to Cat who was blinking at me.

"And how did he hit himself with a bus?" I asked her and she opened her mouth for a few second but nothing came out.

"Wellllll,"

For the rest of the drive, I focused myself on traffic lights and Cat telling me about her brother's strange accident. Finally, I drove up the small drive way of Cat's house, who's porch lights were still on even though the left one was flickering it's way to dying.

"And now he never wears green anymore." Cat finished off, not noticing that we arrived to her house. She looked around the car and peeked out the window and back at me.

"Thanks to driving me home!" She exclaimed and unlatched the door.

"No problem Cat." I turned over and unlatched my door, putting my feet over to get out. "And thanks-"

"What are you doing?" Cat interrupted and I looked back at her to see her still sitting in the passenger seat with her legs on the ground but staring at me with trembling eyes. I gave her a confused look.

"I'm coming out with you." I replied and she backed away and I saw her body shaking.

"Why? You took me home, isn't that all there was to it?" She said firmly but still with a cracked voice. I put my feet back in and stared at her.

"Okay okay Cat, I was just going to walk you up to the door but don't worry Cat, won't come out with you." I told her in a soft voice and I saw her eye dilate slowly and she let out a cough.

"Thanks again, I'll see you at school tomorrow." Cat said with not spaces or pauses. She hopped out the seat and slammed the door so hard it shook my car a little. I shut my door and stayed in the drive way, watching her pace herself up to the porch. She raised her hand to knock on the door but she looked back at me and I could see her slightly smile under the dim lights, and I could see her waving her hands forward motioning me to go. I shot a smile back at her and backed my car out the driveway and as I drove off, I saw her run in, disappearing behind the darkness of the house, and the porch lights turn off as the door closed.

"You're home late." I heard my mom say as I walked passed her sitting in the kitchen chair. I groaned quietly and turned back to look at her. There she was, drowning all her problems in a half burnt cigarette and a tall glass of tequila. The cup stood crocked on a pile of ash trays, spread around our white cloth on top of the table. I stared at her, washing her age herself away. She lighted the cigarette to her mouth and puffed in another hit and let the fumes flow up her nose. I could hear the slight beeping of the fire alarm, tempting to set itself off. By now, it knew better not to.

"I was helping with the play." I replied, backing away from the kitchen, heading myself upstairs.

"I just came here to get some stuff." I ran upstairs and caught one last look of her staring into space, puckering her pink pale lips, preparing herself for another hit. My mom hasn't been the same since my dad move out or even since I moved out. I wouldn't even call it moving out since I just live outside the house but short distance can create bigger distance between people. The only times I really talked to her would be if she went grocery shopping, my dad came to check on her, or if I came to get something in the house, like now. But she's too busy intoxicating her fears and I don't disturb her. I ran into my room to get my magazines and extra homework that I was going to finish but never did. I ran back downstairs and got a box of cereal from the fridge and saw my mom wasn't in the kitchen anymore. She left her mess on the table and as I walked out from the kitchen, she slept a mess on the couch. I grabbed my keys from the table and looked back at her sound asleep before I closed the door. I needed new things to occupy me and everything in my RV I've been using too much already.

Insomnia is a hell of a disorder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Cat****'****s****POV**

I grabbed the cloth left on my table and poured alcohol onto it with shaky hands. I raised the top of my pink pajamas and pulled down the matching pink bottoms low enough to see my hips. I walked in front of my mirror that glowed multi-colored streamer lights around it's frame. I probably stared at myself in the mirror, in the dark and heavy silence of my room, for 5 minutes straight. My eye was caught at the bruise imprinted on my hip. The sounds of screaming and the digging of my moms freshly painted nails into my arm was still fresh in my mind. I worried her. Staying out late always worried her. Then again, I worry her in general. But I knew better not to stay out. But hey, at least this time it's colorful.

Alcohol never really helped the bruises but they soothed it, the way it melted on my skin calmed me down. I pressed it harder to see if this time it would do anything.

Nothing.

I threw the cloth on the table and fell back on my bed. I know it was wrong for me to stay and help with the play, my mom had every right to be upset with me. It was my fault. As always. I looked over at my remote and flicked on the TV. The shrieking laughter of an audience filled my ear and my head and soon enough that was all I heard.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Something I haven't been doing enough of. And that I have to start doing more of, you have to Cat, or else people will worry about you..and you already have enough of that.

I felt my body tense up. For some reason, every laugh and chuckle that roared from my TV made my brain burn out and my face get hot and my stomach turn. I clicked it off.

For the rest of the night I painted in the dark and drew in a fort under my covers.

"You called?" I said, once Tori opened the door of her apartment. It seems like everyone was moving out of their parents house these days. Tori didn't move out though, after getting a job as a receptionist, and finally getting a car, she decided she reached the level of maturity for her to leave her house willingly and live on her own. And I must admit, she's been a little cocky about the fact she lives in an apartment on her own.

Tori stared at me and made a growling noise and turned away from me, walking to her coffee table. I stood outside the door, watching her fumble through all her magazines and meaningless papers. Finally, she pulled out a small pink note from the pile and looked up at me.

"Look at this shit." She said while walking to me irefully. I took the note in her hands and read it;

_Have__fun__living__on__your__own__because__I__'__m__done__putting__up__with__your__high__school__crap__. _

_- __love__Maria_

I scoffed at the note and looked up at Tori, who took the note out of my hands and walked back inside, passing her coffee table and throwing the note to land on top of the pile but I watched as it floated off onto the carpet.

"I'm guessing this Maria was your roommate?" I asked, sitting myself onto her couch. Tori didn't reply for at least a minute, as she unsteadily poured a glass of orange juice but halfway through, she slammed the bottle of juice on the kitchen counter and looked at me.

"Can you believe that bitch? ''I'm done putting up with your high school crap'', well my high school crap was done putting up with you anyways!" You could feel Tori's anxiety miles away. She raised the glass up to her mouth, and as I was about to reply, she put the glass back down.

"You know I could care less about her leaving, it's just the fact she didn't even leave any money for rent, when she knew damn well it's due tomorrow." She then chugged down the juice.

"Can't you just tell your owner, person, whatever that your roommate left you hanging?" I suggested and she swallowed her juice with struggle and walked her way to the couch.

"Oh trust me, my ''owner, person, whatever'' couldn't give negative four fucks on anything except her money, which is all she wants to by tomorrow." Tori said, stirring her glass of juice.

"Don't make assumptions," then again, I made the assumption that Beck didn't want to drive me home. "How about I come with you?"

She turned her head straight at me, still stirring her cup.

"Now?"

I shrugged and jumped off the her couch. "Sure why not?" I grabbed her free hand and darted for the door.

"Cat, I already told you-" I stopped walking and looked back at her, interrupting her.

"I know you told me but it doesn't hurt to try." I smiled at her and she slowly curved up a smirk.

"There we goooo."

I opened the door and continued walking down the gray dark hallway, holding her arm and heard a slight groan from behind me. Tori pulled herself away from me. I looked back at her to see her staring forward and I turned to see Ryder Daniels, Tori's one hit wonder.

"He lives here too?" I asked turning to Tori, and back at Ryder, to see him walking towards us smirking with a box overflowing with his stuff and a broken picture of what looked like to be him as a baby.

"Sadly, yes. He just moved this week, and had too many encounters with him." Tori replied, crossing her arms once Ryder reached us.

"Nice to see you again Cat, it's been too long." He said, with a wide smile. I gave him a grosse look.

"Yeah not long enough." Tori replied, shaking her head. Ryder started pouting.

"Aw now is that anyway to treat your new roommate?" Tori and I looked at each other and back at him with raised eyebrows.

"New roommate?" I repeated slowly, and saw him slightly nod.

"What, were you assigned to be my roommate?" Tori questioned, raising her voice.

"No...but I hear you need one." Ryder said.

"Hear, hear from who?!" Tori was now practically yelling, and I looked at her.

"Tori, don't get so mad now." Ryder wasn't smiling anymore.

"I'M NOT-" Tori paused and swallowed. "I'm not mad. Where did you hear I need a new roommate?"

"From you, and cat, a while ago."

"So you were spying on us?" I asked, now having my arms crossed.

"I wasn't spying, I was passing by and heard a conversation. If I shouldn't have heard it, then I'm sorry. I just really need a place to stay." And this time he seemed sincere with his words. But I knew Tori wouldn't fall for that.

"Yeah I'm not falling for that. You can stay somewhere else, I'm sure tons of people don't have a roommate at the moment and I don't need one." Tori stated, flipping the small bangs of her hair and turned herself as if she was heading the other way, until Ryder walked forward, closer to her.

"C'mon Tori, if you're still caught up on what happened at the Full Moon Jam, then I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry and after what you did to me, I forgave you but you can't?" Ryder said, and Tori let out a laugh.

"Forgive you? You deserved what you got!" She said, getting closer to him.

"Tori, be a little fair, he's offering to be your roommate and he'll pay your rent." I said, trying to get her to compromise and she stared me.

"Actually, I can't pay the rent...at least not alone, I do have some money though." Ryder made a childish smile and Tori stared up at him and started shaking her head slowly.

"Okay at least he's a help." I restated. A long silence and a heavy breeze blew between us.

"Pleaseeeee." Ryder pleaded, in a soft tone. I laughed, at the chemistry I could feel between them. And then I frowned for thinking that after how he played my own friend like she was a toy.

Tori looked at me and I gave her a slight grin, and she looked straight into Ryder's eyes.

"Fine."

Ryder smiled and looked at me, and I shot him a slight smile. Tori turned away and began walking, while Ryder stood in his same place. She then turned back at us.

"Stop staring at my butt." And continued walking again. I laughed along with Ryder and he looked at me.

"Thanks." He said and walked off behind Tori. I stared at him jogging off, catching up with her. I could hear the slight jiggling of his box as they disappeared past the hall. I sighed.

And then it hit me.

Why did Ryder suddenly move in this week, the same week Tori's roommate ditched her? And even if he was passing by her door while we were talking, it still seems weird how he suddenly made up his mind on wanting to move in with Tori. Did Ryder plan this? Was he friends with Tori's roommate? Did they both plan this? No, Ryder seemed like he changed. He's trying to restart with Tori. And moving in would be a great way to restart. Then again, it's Tori's apartment. Her ''home''. Her world of privacy, where she showers and get dressed and changes and. It's private. At least it's suppose to be. Cat you're overthinking this. Ryder is just a guy who needs somewhere to stay and a fresh start.

Or the same selfish dick from last year who's taking up the opportunity to get revenge.

"Sinjin, for the last time, stop feeling Andre's hands!"

Sikowitz called at Sinjin, who was spending half the class grabbing Andre's hand. I guess using that new Norwegian CoCoa Butter lotion paid him off...some-what.

"I'm sorry it's just," Sinjin looked at Andre. "how did you get them so soft?"

The class turned their heads to Andre.

"Well, it's a secret." He said, looking up at Sikowitz, who seemed excited.

Right when Sinjin was going to reply, the bell rang. Andre quickly pulled his hands away from Sinjin and dashed for the door.

"Hey cat!"

I turned to see Beck walked past the chairs to come over to me and I don't know why but I felt my heart skip beat for a million years. A smile immediately spread across my face. Until Jade came up behind him. But Beck was watching me, so I stayed smiling and I felt like I began to smile harder when she appeared.

Jade grabbed his shoulder back and looked at him.

"Can I talk to you?" She said, with a serious face. Then again, Jade is always serious, even when she isn't really serious. I began playing with the tips of my hair. Beck looked at me and pressed his lips together and shrugged moving his hands. He turned back to Jade and she walked him towards the corner, while staring at me with a faint grin on her face. And again, a forced smile came over my face.

I turned around and practically forgot.

"Sikowitz, can I talk to you before you go?"

"Of course my red velvet cupcake!" He looked at me and grinned. I giggled and grabbed my bag. Sikowitz told us he would be putting on a play for a guest coming, another big director that does nothing but compliment our work and leave. He said we could offer him our scripts for the play and not even scripts, it could just be ideas or scenes that would fit. Most people did that. I, on the other hand, spent half this month on a script. Not because I couldn't think of anything, or never worked on it. I rewrote it and threw it out and rewrote it again probably 50 times, a day.

I pulled out the thick stacked paper and handed it to Sikowitz.

"I basically made a whole script for the play. I don't know if anyone else had an idea for the whole thing so." I said. Sikowitz squinted at the paper and flipped through it, spending a few seconds on each page.

I was once again smiling, but this time it wasn't forced. I was proud of myself. This is my first time actually showing Sikowitz one of my works, never the less a whole script. I showed it to my mom and she, a woman who could care less for theater arts, thought it was great. I showed it to Tori, Andre, Robbie, Trina, Sinjin, basically everyone who made my way for the past few weeks. And I think I put my hopes up too high but it doesn't matter, because I know even if doesn't choose the whole script, he could choose at least a scene or too. I know it.

He closed the script back to the first page, not even finishing it and looked up at me, letting out a deep sigh.

I don't know it.

"Look Cat-" I couldn't help but stop him.

"You didn't even finish it!" I said, my voice cracking at the end. I could feel my body heating up and my stomach turned half way upside down. I needed to stop myself, he hadn't even said anything yet Cat. His eyes widened.

"I know, but I don't need to. I respect you for trying to participate in this but I don't think your idea of plays are we need."

"We? Who is we? Did you already find my script and make a student body poll on if it was good or not?" I was putting all my words together. Now I was getting mad.

"Cat, it's just...I already chose someone else's script." He said, very vague. I felt my anger melt down my body and I bite my lip.

"Why didn't you just say that?" I said in a quiet voice, making it seem like I wasn't affected by it but I was.

"Well you didn't exactly give me a chance now did you?" He replied, laughing. I couldn't stay mad at Sikowitz. I laughed along with him and felt lighter than I was like a minute ago. I blinked my eyes repeatedly, feeling it begin to water.

"Well thanks for looking at it anyways." I said, grabbing the script from his hand and shoving it into my bag without looking. I felt my eyes begin to burn, and it was forcing itself to release tears. I passed by Sikowitz and saw him look back at me, as I looked back at Beck and Jade still talking in the corner. I don't know why I felt half my body fall apart whenever I saw him with Jade. They weren't together, not that it would matter if they were since I don't like him. I know I don't. Then again, I don't know.

"Hey Cat!"

I looked around, getting my hopes up of it being Beck. Goddamnit Cat, stop being thirsty! It was let alone, it was Justin. A new guy that enrolled into Hollywood arts just a few months ago. A gay guy. It threw a lot of people off at first, upset some people but in the end, it is what it is and he is a great person. And gosh, does he know how to dress.

"Hi." I said, stuffing a poptart into my mouth. I moved over on top of the brick wall for him to sit.

"So you're skipping class, you naughty girl!" He exclaimed, shoving me with his shoulder and I smiled down at my poptart, taking another bite.

"No, I asked to go to the bathroom." I said still chewing.

"I don't think this is the bathroom." He joked and stared at me chewing. I gave him a wider smile, to show him the colorful food across my teeth. He looked at me in disgust and put his hand over my mouth.

"Yeah, I'll go when I'm done eating." I dug into the piece more.

"You're killing that thing Cat!" He cried, as if it was his family member I was eating. I let out a laugh, spitting out crumbs of my food. I looked at him, to see his eyes locked forward. I looked at his direction to see him staring at a guy going through his locker a few feet away from us. I looked back at Justin to see he hadn't move.

"Drool why don't you?" I said and he snapped out of his gaze and looked at me.

"That's Derek. He's in practically all my classes and he's so funny and charismatic and we picked up each others pencils like 3 times, so we're basically at 3rd base." Justin said, staring again.

I smirked and got an idea.

"Hey Derek!"

Justin hit me, practically knocking over my poptart. Derek turned his head and smiled at us. He walked over to us, chuckling.

"What's up Cat?" He looked over at Justin and nodded. "Justin."

"Heeey." Justin said in a faint tone, not making eye contact.

"You wanna hang out tomorrow night with me and Justin. We're going to the movies." I said, and Justin looked at me.

"We are?"

I turned my head slowly and kept smiling, giving him a sign.

"Yes we are Justin," I turned back to Derek "so are you in?"

Derek laughed and bit his lips.

"Yeah sure. Derek's in my classes so you can tell me the details later." Derek looked at Justin, who nervously chuckled and nodded repeatedly.

"Well I gotta go, my teacher probably thinks I'm shitting bricks right now." He smiled at me. "Bye." And walked off past the lockers.

I expected Justin to yell at me, scream at me, knock the poptart out of my hands but instead, he got off the wall and let out a groan.

"You're welcome!" I exclaimed, implying for him to thank me.

"Yeah, you're welcome for getting yourself a date." He replied with no emotion. I stopped chewing.

"What do you mean?"

"Cat you're not that stupid. Didn't you see the way he looked at you? He was making legit eye contact with you the whole time, if not staring into your red haired soul." Justin gave me an oblivious look. He was smiling at me, but he seems like the type to smile a lot. Plus he smiled at Justin too. I think.

"Well...I wasn't really paying attention to him. I'm sorry, I just wanted to get a jumpstart for you two." I replied, staring at Justin giving me a million and one expressions. "I can cancel it if you want."

He gasped.

"Are you kidding? I finally get the chance to be in the same atmosphere with that cutie outside of school and you expect me to turn it down? Nope, I'm not going to let you have all the fun here!" Justin exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips with a wide grin on his face. I hopped off the wall and giggled at him.

"So that's a thank you?" I said, smirking. He rolled his eyes and looked back at me.

"Yes, thank you Cat."

"It's just what I do." I flattered myself, flipping my hair and gave him a shady look. He grabbed what was left of my poptart and laughed. I wrapped my arm around his waist and walked with him while he waved the piece in my face teasing me and laughed at me as I continuously reached for it with my mouth.

And then came Beck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Becks ****POV**

Cat and Justin stopped dead in their tracks when they saw me. I probably interrupted something, by the way Cat had her arm around her waist but as soon as my eyes looked down at her position, she took her arm away from his waist and Justin turned to her. I wonder how many seconds already passed of us standing and staring at each other.

"Hey Justin." I said shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Hey, you're skipping too?" Justin asked, seemingly excited. I gave him a confused look and turned to Cat, who blinked and looked down at her shoes and back at me slowly.

"You guys are skipping class?" I asked with a slight laugh even though I wanted to expect a no from Cat. Justin looked at Cat.

"I'm not, I was just going to the bathroom." Cat replied with a giggle and a sudden smile spread across her face.

"Yeah going to the bathroom in one place." Justin said, nudging Cat. Cat laughed, too hard even. Justin and I stared at Cat with a smirk while she continued to laugh.

"Well I just came to get my script book for class." I said, walking over to my locker and pulling it's latch down.

"Oh we need that for class today? I'll go get mine!" Cat said, turning the other way.

"No Cat," She stopped. "It's fine, you can share with me." Since Cat's locker moved all the way to the other end of the school, she wouldn't be willing to walk all the way just for a book.

"No, it's fine. I'll get my own." Cat said in a stern voice. Justin looked at her and she cracked a smile. "But thank you anyways!" And with that she bounced off past the hall.

"Hey is the script book for Sikowitz class?" Justin asked walking closer to me, as I was shuffling through my locker for the book.

"Nah, Jensins."

"Oh, hey do you know if Sikowitz chose a script already for the play?" I didn't take my eyes off my locker, still looking for the book that's playing hide and seek.

"Nope, he would of been too excited to keep it to himself anyways." I replied and Justin let out a laugh. "You want him to look at yours?"

"Yeah, I put my heart and soul into that thing! If he denys it, he might as well never look at me every again." I smiled at him and took out my book and slammed my locker shut.

"I have faith in you, especially if your play includes something with coconut milk." He laughed. "I gotta get to class"

"Yeah I gotta get...wherever." He turned around and headed for his way. As I walked off, I turned back at him and saw him take out a lighter from his pocket. Wherever this "wherever" was, it definitely wasn't indoors.

Tori gagged as she put her toothbrush in the back of her throat. Drools of crest slowly dropped from her mouth and she continued brushing. Over her loud gags, she heard the door open and heard Ryder's voice, which made her gag again. But she heard another voice. A girls voice. Not Cat's, not Trina's, definitely not Jade's. Tori stopped brushing and staring into the sink as she was trying to make out the voice of this girl. But all she heard was slight mumbling and then loud laughter, coming from both Ryder and the girl. Tori dropped her toothbrush in the sink and headed down the stairs.

When she arrived downstairs, she paced her footsteps. She found Ryder on the couch, well half of him was on the couch while the other half was laughing his ass off. And on the other side of his joyful half was a blonde laughing along with him. She had a high pitched laugh and a wide mouth with a heavy coat of red lipstick, but full of pearly white teeth. Good thing she was pale or that color would be a mess on her. She looked practically in her 20's and had the bluest eyes that could probably glow in the dark. She sucked in air from her tight teeth, finishing her laugh session and as Ryder was about to say something, she spotted Tori and her laughed turned into an awkward smile and she cough, motioning her eyes and head towards Tori. Tori didn't realize how long she must've been standing there watching them. Ryder turned his head to her and smiled. Tori smiled, only for the girl who kept her eyes locked on her.

Ryder got up from the couch and walked closer to her, as she walked off the stairs and down to behind the couch. The girl stayed smiling at her but Tori's smile was gone a while ago. She looked at Ryder and didn't say anything, hoping he could get the hint that'd he should be the one talking.

"Oh! This is Marcy." Ryder said, opening out his hands towards the gi- Marcy. Marcy got up from the couch and Tori realized she was in a short floral patterned dress, like the type Cat would wear. She opened her hand to her, and Tori automatically grabbed her hand and shook it, but her eyes were stuck at Ryder behind her, who seemed to be getting turned on by two girls giving hand shakes.

"Hi, I'm Tori." Even though she thought this girl didn't deserve to know her name, let alone sit on her own couch. But she knew Ryder was behind this.

"Marcy is a dentist." Ryder smiled and Marcy looked back at him and laughed as if she was flattered but Tori wasn't amused.

"And that explains why she's in my apartment?" Words came out Tori's mouth before she could think, and she noticed with a slight attitude too. Marcy's smile face and Ryder give her a disappointed look, motioning to Marcy.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it like that. I love dentists! I was just brushing my teeth right now in fact." Tori added, trying to clear the air and saw Marcy chuckle.

"Yeah I can tell." Ryder said, rubbing his finger over his lips. Tori gave him a straight look and realized he was saying she had toothpaste on her lips. She ran the sleeve of her shirt over her mouth and nervously laughed.

"But no that's not why she's here. So I was walking around town and I noticed there was a taxi laying around, and by laying around I mean not being used. So I took it for a little joy ride and by joy ride, I mean I've always wanted to see what it was like to be a taxi driver. An-"

"You stole a taxi and pretended to be a taxi driver?" Tori questioned him, crossing her arms and pacing closer to Ryder. He probably picked up Marcy the prostitute, Tori thought but when she looked at Marcy she seemed as shocked as Tori, if not even more.

"You told me you were a taxi driver!" Marcy exclaimed. Ryder looked from Tori to Marcy and chuckled.

"I was!" He paused and Tori raised her eyebrows. "For the night that is."

The girls both scoffed.

"Anyways back to my story. And you wouldn't believe who came in my taxi." Ryder smiled, looking to Marcy. Tori sighed. Ryder then coughed.

"Okay fine then don't guess but it was Marcy!"

Tori turned her head to Marcy, and Marcy slightly smiled, but it was a guilty smile.

"So you just brought her here?" Tori questioned and Ryder's smile went away.

"Will you stop interrupting me and maybe you won't have anymore questions." He snapped.

"Okay." Tori said with no emotion. At that point she was getting ready to go back to handling her hygiene and jump into bed.

"As I was saying, so Marcy and I drove around for probably an hour and okay get this," Tori put on an anxious expression. "Marcy's place was burnt down, so she has to wait until it's back up again. And I was thinking, since we have that extra guest room next to your room, why not she stay with us?" Ryder finished with a wide grin.

Tori scoffed and looked at Marcy, who didn't look back at Tori this time and was playing with her hands. Tori looked back at Ryder who was no longer grinning. So many thoughts were going through her mind. And so many feelings and she didn't know which one she hated most. Words couldn't come out of her mouth due to the fact she was stunned over the fact that Ryder just moved in, and wouldn't of moved in if it wasn't for the help of Cat, and he's offering people in as if Tori's apartment was a motel. Tori's silence made everything very tense and Ryder grabbed her arms and walked her over behind the kitchen counter.

"Are you retarded?" Tori assured to Ryder, who snapped his head back in offense.

"I'm retarded for lending someone a place to stay when their house burned down?"

"Yes you are. First of all, you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Cat, second of all this is still my apartment you're just helping me pay the rent."

Ryder laughed. Marcy stared at them from the couch.

"That's the only reason you're letting me stay? So I can help with the rent?" He restated, smirking.

"Yes! That's the only reason." Tori said looking up at his brown eyes.

"You sure?" Ryder said, stepping closer to Tori who backed away immediately.

"Look she is not staying here okay! And that's final!" Tori slightly raised her voice.

"I can add in for the rent!"

Ryder and Tori turned to Marcy, who was grinning and still nervously playing with her hands.

"I mean, if you want I could just pay the whole thing. I know it must be weird having someone just come in your house and realize they're staying with you. I just really need this, please." Marcy grinded her teeth. Ryder smiled at Tori who was still frowning, until she saw Ryder smiling at her and groaned.

"Sure."

Marcy smiled and stopped playing with her hands and began walking towards the counter, when Ryder, excited, grabbed Tori's face and kissed her forehead. Marcy stopped walking and looked at them. Tori pushed Ryder back and walked passed him, and headed to the stairs. Tori stood in front of the sink and looked at herself in the mirror, and splashed water on her face, mostly to her forehead. She fell asleep that night not thinking of anything else but the feel of Ryder's lips on her, once again.

I was stuck again helping with the props for Jade's play the next afternoon. But Cat wasn't here. She was the only reason I ever looked forward to these things. As I was untying cords of christmas lights, I heard the door open.

"Hey Sinjin, I hope you got more of that glue you wast-" I turned around to find not Sinjin, not Cat, but Jake. One of Ryder's friends. One of Ryder's clones. A clone that happened to befriend Jade right after our break up. Jade never actually talked to me about him but I've seen them together enough to know they were friends. He walked in smirking and widened his green eyes to me.

"Wow Beck, I didn't know Jade had you doing her hard work too." I looked at him and looked back at the tangled lights and continued fiddling with them.

"It's not hard work but you wouldn't know much about work now would you?" I said, pulling a string of lights out from the bunch.

"You know, Jade talks about you a lot." Jake said. I started to fiddle with the lights more.

"Oh really?" I replied.

"Yeah. She talks about you so much, it get's annoying. I swear sometimes I don't know why you guys broke up I mean, I don't mean to sound soft but you guys were nice together." Jake paused. "You guys were perfect."

I stopped with the lights and sighed. I knew he was playing with me. The only thing this guy thinks is perfect is himself.

"No we weren't. We're better off our separate ways." I said.

"You're obviously not your separate way doing all this for Jade." Jake chuckled.

"Why are you here Jake?" I said, looking up to him. He slightly pouted.

"Surprise. Jade's letting me work on the play too." I stared at him.

"You don't seem excited."

"Because I'm not but congratulations." I went back to the lights. Jake stayed silent for at least a minute before he walked up on the stage and stood in front of the box, when my vision became of his white Jordans.

"Let me help you with this Beck." Jake crouched down and grabbed a jumble of lights from the brown box. I could feel him looking at me but I kept my eyes locked on the lights.

"Too bad Jade never says good things about you." He said in a quiet voice that seemed to echo around the empty theater. I felt my hands get hot and rush to untangle the lights.

"She always says how you're weak. Not physically, physically she loves you. And not emotional, she said how you're stubborn and barely feel anything. She said anyone who can't handle her is weak. But I don't think that makes you weak beck."

I grinded my teeth.

"I think you're strong. Jade is a hard to handle. She's rough, and tough, and dark but in the good way. But I've always thought you were weak. Even when you were dating Jade. I knew you guys wouldn't last. You don't know Jade like I do beck. I know her more than you ever will. I know about her family, her school, her struggles, her flaws and her perfections but you. You were her boyfriend and just that. I would be her boyfriend her friend, her everything. What she thought you were to her. Until you fucked it up. Like how you're fucking up these lights because you're getting mad." I dropped the lights in the box and looked up to see Jake smirking.

I stood up and walked passed him.

"I'm going to get another box of lights, you can handle those on your own." I said, heading to the opposite stairs of the theatre.

"Yeah, on my own, like you in that ghetto RV without anyone but you're hopeless druggy of a mom to help you, if she ever did."

I stopped walking. Suddenly, every word he said slowed down in my mind and repeated over each other. I felt my blood boil and my head tense up. I turned around and stared at the back of Jake's head, hearing his slight laughter. That slight laughter was the last noise I heard from him that night.

I rubbed my the wrists of my hands and groaned.

"Have a nice day." The police officer told me as I walked past him. I heard the door close behind me. The feeling of my hands against Jake's face and the sound of his mumbling that was quiet over the voice of Sinjin calling for help from the hall. I passed the clear windows and watched as the police officers looked at me, some smiled and some stared, and some whispered to the other some. Probably how I'm another teenage delinquent that could care less for school and thinks fighting solves everything and whose best friend is drugs and weed. The first thing I saw was Tori, Andre, Sinjin, Robbie, Trina and even Sikowitz rush in through the double doors and all talk at once when they saw me and crowded around me. But I noticed Cat wasn't with them.

"Are you okay?!" Robbie asked.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"How did this happen?" Tori asked, looking at the marks on my knuckles.

"Well," Sikowitz cut me off.

"I'll tell you how this happened; two boys who were in love with the same girl in one room, equals kaos." I looked at Sikowitz and chuckled.

"I'm not in love with Jade." I replied, rubbing my wrists again.

"Oh so this was over Jade?" Tori asked, with wide eyes.

"No it wasn't okay. Jade has nothing to do with this. I just...overreacted to things." I stated, slighting smiling at Tori.

"Yeah so overreacted you almost ended up in jail." Trina said, suddenly smirking and rubbing one of my wrists. "Which would be kinda hot."

Everyone turned their heads to her and gave her a disgusted look. She stopped smirking and let go of my wrist.

"I mean bad." She added. I smiled but then I noticed, someone else was missing. Jade.

"Where's Jade?"

They all looked at eachother before answering.

"She's with Jake." Andre said. I slowly nodded. I didn't expect Jade to come but I didn't expect her to go to Jake instead.

"And where's Cat?"

"I don't know, I've been texting and calling her for hours but she never responded." Tori said looking back at her phone. I looked up and my heart slowly fell like a bomb into my stomach. The other catched my staring, and looked over to see my mom standing behind Andrea, wrapped in an oversized hoodie. It was my dads. Everyone looked back and forth from both of us.

"We'll just leave you two alone to talk." Sikowitz said, walking away with the rest of them. I walked them leave and saw my mom didn't move closer to me.

"Thank you, for getting me out." I said, smiling. I looked at her. I looked at her watch me with her light brown eyes that were still dilated since this morning. I looked at her dark, bloodshot weary eyes that use to flutter every second of the day and glitter when she looked at someone. I looked at her dry, shriveled lips that use to be covered with some type of lipstick or soft chapstick. I looked at her pale dead skin that use to be sun kissed. I looked at her and thought where was mom, because she definitely wasn't the one in front of me.

"Can you just tell me...was this over a girl?" She asked, breathing slowly. I looked over to my friends and back at her.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." I said with a heavy sigh ending it. She bit her lips and looked away from my eyes and down to my hands.

"Don't stay out too late." And with that, she walked passed me and I watched as she slid her body through the back exit doors. I looked back to see Tori staring at me, and open her hand. She smiled and I walked over and grabbed her in my arms. She looked up at me.

"You want to go out and get something to eat?" Tori asked, wrapping her arm around my waist. I looked around and back at them.

"Nah, you guys can go." I said and Tori let go of me.

"You sure?" Robbie asked. I put my hand on his shoulder and slightly shook him.

"Yes I'm sure. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow." I said and turned away from them. I looked back and saw them still standing there. I shot them a last smile and pushed my hands forward, mouthing them to go. I stood and watched them walk out the door and looked at Tori, who kept looking back at me, and waved at her. She shot me a grin and waved back and left.

I stopped smiling.

I slouched down on one of the waiting benches and laid my head back on the wall and felt my heart beating with a rest and my arms had goosebumps all over them. I stared up at the heaven lights beaming down from the ceilings and kept my eye on one that was flickering it's way out. The same flickering that Cat's porch lights has.

I couldn't and I probably wouldn't leave without seeing her.

"And me and my brother ran for the window, and he was like ''hurry push me out'' and I did what he asked. I pushed him out. Pushed him enough to land on a tree branch and fall when we realized we were on the 3'rd floor."

Derek laughed at the long story that Cat no longer remembered what she's been fake laughing along to for the past half hour. Everyone in the food court that passed them, continuously looked at Derek laugh. Cat's been continuously looking at poor Justin, who looked like he was practically falling asleep and falling in love at the same time. Cat nudged Justin, who groaned and opened his eyes which were closed every time Derek laughed. Derek looked at his watch and took a quick sip of his smoothie.

"Wow where did the time go?" Derek exclaimed, getting up from his chair.

"No where but my eyes." Justin quietly said, stretching up in his chair.

"Thanks for the movie guys, it was great. We should do this again."

Cat and Justin looked at each other and smiled back at Derek.

"We'll talk at school." Cat said, getting up from her chair and seeing Derek slightly rush to come hug her but she let out her hand. Derek looked at her hand and shook it, letting out a sigh.

"It's getting late you should go." Cat implied, looking at Derek's watch. Derek laughed and looked at Justin.

"See you guys." Derek smiled at him and jogged off to the food court exit that led to the parking lot. Justin looked up at Cat as if he was just put through hell. Cat laughed and grabbed his arm, lifting his dead body up from the chair and looped her arms through his.

"I am so sorry for putting you through that." Cat said smiling to Justin.

"I'm sorry for putting both of us through that. Justin scoffed.

"He sure has a mouth on him." Cat stated, laughing.

"Yeah...and that's exactly how I like em'." Justin said and Cat stopped watching, pulling him back with her arm.

"You must of really liked it if you were half asleep during that whole thing!" Cat said and Justin pulled her forward, continuing to walk again.

"He just isn't good at telling stories that's all." Justin said. "Besides, telling stories isn't the only thing he's going to be doing with that mouth." Cat looked at Justin who was making sliding his tongue around his lips. Cat hit him.

"Well you didn't have to take my phone though!" Cat said.

"Yes I did! I couldn't have any distractions, plus what if he asked me a question and I got lost in his eyes and was a mess, I'd need you to be my backup. This was your date too anyways." Justin said, reaching into his pocket. "But here!" He slapped the phone in Cat's dainty hands.

"Thank you." Cat replied, and began going through her phone.

"Maybe on the next date, we could go bowling. I mean bowling requires some bending over if you know what I'm say-" Justin stopped, when he realized Cat was practically frozen in her tracks and not budging to move. He looked up at her face and got closer to her.

"What's wrong?" Cat looked up at him and didn't say a word and looked back down to her phone, trying to make sounds and words come out but they were so quiet and tense. But finally her voice gave in and said,

"Where would I start?"

My eyes felt like they were shut for years and I wasn't planning on opening them to realize how long I've been waiting. I slowly lifted my eyelids and saw the flickering light still on but the strong ones were turned off. I looked around and realized it was half empty and what was left was some night shift policemen and parents sitting on the other benches on the opposite side of the room, with fear and anger in all their faces. Something my mom didn't have, and I sadly wish she did.

I groaned getting up, and felt like I cracked my back. I sighed and zipped up my jacket, heading for the exit doors.

"Beck."

I didn't get half way through zipping my jacket when I heard my name, my soft hushed name.

I turned around and saw Cat standing the same spot Tori was standing. But she didn't give me the same look Tori gave me. It was a look no one ever gave me. A look that made me swallow ever pride I had left. A look of not anger, fear, disappointment, worry. A look of sympathy.

I walked closer to her, slowly and got close enough to her to see water filling up her big brown eyes. Those big brown eyes I've always loved. I slightly opened my mouth and saw hers begin to tremble and as I was about to open my arms, she ran into them and grabbed me. She held me so tight, and yet so gently. She pressed her head against my chest and I didn't her sob but I heard her breathe slowly. I held her, and as I held her, I felt like in that moment I was holding onto her fears, her dreams, her troubles, her pain, and holding onto a Cat that seemed to have done this before. Done this too many times. And as she pulled her head away and looked up to me, I was looking into the eyes of a Cat who was scared. Not for me, not for herself, but for us.


	4. News!

Hai guys!

so.

**I hate to say this but my story "I Believe In Us" is going to be put on hold, and sadly I'm guessing it'll be a long hold, a month or two. I'm really sorry but I have tragic things happening right now with my family and my friends and I won't be able to write for a while. Again, i'm sorry, but I'll be back soon! I hope you all have a great day and week and etc, byeee. 3**


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